Bed rest, big boys and babies: A 2013 Story

I am days away from entering my 33rd year of life on this earth and I have but one request of it: please go a little easier on me than that bitch that was my 32nd.

2013, you were a doozy. Finding out I was pregnant in February was the news I had been waiting for for far too long. Finding out I needed to spend nearly half of that pregnancy with my feet elevated and flat on my back while my three year old ran circles around me was not at all what I was expecting. But we survived, and so did Paulina and she is perfect.

In the weeks following her much anticipated, and in many ways miraculous, entrance into this world a strange feeling came over me. To be very clear, I loved her beyond reason; the mere thought of how close we came to losing her altogether still brings me to a puddle of tears. However, I couldn't help but ask myself "what have you done?!?!" We had a perfect little system working, Charlie and I. The arrival of Paulina sent that little system into a massive tailspin and in my postpartum, hormonal mess of a brain, the birth of Charlie's sister completely ruined his life. Since I couldn't technically send her back (well, not legally or without her father being fairly upset with me) there was little I could do about it other than muddle through as best I could, all the while unshowered, shoving whatever food was left out on the counter into my mouth for "lunch" while breast milk soaked through my last clean shirt. And the day that both Paulina and Charlie were inconsolably screaming because, I don't know, they were too naked or not naked enough (respectively) and Grant was crouched in a corner in the fetal position banging his head against the wall I thought to myeslf "OHMYGOD WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE MORE THAN ONE CHILD!!!!!"

Well, it's for this right here:

 (Photo by Grant Shellen)

And despite what my brain thinks of when I am reminded of the bullshit that was so often 2013, there were actually a hell of a lot more moments like the one above and it's those moments are what make even all the crappy parts well worth it. I can't wait for what 2014 has in store for me. Now if you'll excuse me, someone has a butt that needs wiping. 

Happy New Year and enjoy.

Our 2013, in photos from Grant Shellen on Vimeo.