Unsolicited Parenting Advice #7

So, I hate cleaning. I do it because it is one of those things you "have to do" because otherwise you'll start to lose friends and end up with your own show on TLC, but it is not at all fun to me. I know there are some people out there who actually enjoy the act of cleaning, but I just don't get it. I understand there is a feeling of accomplishment once you have cleaned a room but that feeling is brief for me. Mainly because I know I won't be able to keep it that way anyway and in a couple days, it will all be a mess again and I'll think to myself, "I could either clean this or sit down on the couch with a bag of cookies and watch Real Housewives." (The choice is clearly the latter. Also, I swear I am not depressed....that depressed.)

But cleaning is a necessary evil. Sometimes to help me take that extra step off the couch and away from the trashy TV and bags of carbs I trick myself into having to clean with of few of these simple tips:

1. Invite guests over. I mean, sure you live in squalor a lot of the time but you don't want anyone to know that! 

2. Get sick. I realize this is probably a less than desirable choice to get your house clean. See, I am just getting over the walking death and during that time I absolutely did not clean. In fact, I was the antithesis of clean considering I was hacking my germs all over everything. Great things became of this. You see, Grant wouldn't let me touch anything, like the dishes, the laundry, or him.  In fact, he slept on the couch for the past four nights and I am beginning to think that Charlie now thinks that is where Daddy sleeps now. I can't wait for him to divulge this information to the coffee shop the barista or his preschool teacher. But the best part about all this is I didn't have to clean a thing.

But then I got better. As soon as started to feel better I had to clean because, um, ew. Specifically my bathroom. I cleaned the hell out of that bathroom. And then I got winded and had to lay down. But we are still 24 hours and counting with a freaking clean bathroom. I call that a success.

3. Plan a messy activity. Sometimes I give Charlie something to do that will force me to clean up afterwards and probably have to take cleaning to the next level (ie: sweep and mop the floor.) Since today was rainy and my son was going insane it was time to get messy.

This was my favorite thing to make when I was a preschool teacher. It's technical name is "oobleck" which is annoying and preschool-teachery. There are plenty of recipes online for it, like this one, but I just mix some corn starch and water and food coloring until it becomes THE COOLEST CONSISTENCY EVER!!!

Is it a solid? Is it a liquid? Will it get all over the kitchen? Yes it will. But Charlie played with it for a good solid hour. No. Joke. That is 60 minutes, moms and dads. That is like one whole hour of Real Housewives! (Or you can play with your child, talk about what it feels likes, what it looks like, blah blah blah). If I am being honest, I was right in there with him for at least half of that time playing with the stuff; it's strangely therapeutic.

Did I mention he was also not wearing pants? No? We have a lot of days like this at our house. Neither here nor there.  Anyway, so tomorrow I am thinking about squirting shaving cream all over the floor and telling him to GO NUTS!